Something Special
by IceCreamIceQueen
Summary: Wreck-It Ralph AU. Sergeant Elsa Calhoun is determined to never fall in love, especially not with a certain dancer. Featuring Hero's Duty!Elsa and Dance Dance Revolution 2!Anna.
1. Elsa

The kid didn't even have a gun in his hand.

 _A conscientious objector, huh._

 _Well, you're in the wrong game, pal._

'The Cy-Bugs are hatching, newbie. Let's go get 'em!'

First Person Shooter just stared at her.

'What, are you scared, or something?'

Nada.

Never had she had a First Person Shooter that was such a blatant-

'Cy-Bug! 5 O'Clock!'

FPS ignored her. The Cy-Bug flew into his screen, attempting to eat the computer whole.

Game Over.

 _Well, that has to have been the biggest waste of $2 I've ever seen. $2 for 10 seconds of gameplay… what a pussy._

The Beacon began emerging from the tower, a familiar and welcoming sight.

'Beacon up!' the marines cried. 'Beacon up! Cease fire!'

 **ATTENTION. RETURN TO START POSITIONS. RETURN TO START POSITIONS.**

'Good job, men,' she said, as she always did. No matter how lousy FPS was, she could always count on her fellow space marines to do her proud.

 _Well, most of them. Markowski is a little shi-_

 **QUARTER ALERT. QUARTER ALERT. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.**

It was the same kid. He had a fistful of quarters in each hand.

She sighed.

 _Okay, let's give him another chance. He's gotta pick up the gun at some point, right?_

* * *

Wrong.

When they Game Over-ed for the fourth time, she knew that something needed to be done.

'Kohut, with me.'

'Ma'am.'

Sven Kohut was her most trusted soldier. He'd never let her down, and never would.

'New tactic: we're going to protect First Person Shooter from the Cy-Bugs for as long as we can. Maybe once they realise they're safe, it'll inspire them to actually fucking _do_ something.'

'Yes ma'am.'

* * *

They'd been playing for 15 minutes when she saw FPS pick up the gun.

 _Fucking finally._

She was beginning to feel the effects of playing for so long.

 _If I can just grab that health pa-_

 **PEW!**

Nope. FPS got it.

 _Your health bar's still in the green, asshole._

FPS got two more health packs. He was quick when he wanted to be.

 _Okay, fuck this._

'I'm gonna let go of your hand now, kid. You're on your own.'

It was like watching a child cycle without stabilisers for the first time. FPS wobbled, but managed to shoot down two Cy-Bugs that were heading straight for him.

Kohut shot her a look that said, _fucking finally_.

 _Amen to that._ _Now, I really need that health pack-_

 **PEW!**

 _Fuck's sake._

* * *

'You are wanting some root beer, ya, Ms. Calhoun?'

'That's "Sergeant". And, you got it.'

'Bad day at work?' Oaken asked, pouring her drink.

She grunted.

'I see.'

He watched as she downed her drink in one.

'Another, please.'

'As you wish.'

She downed that one too, and put her head on the bar.

 _What a day..._

The bar door swung open.

'...At least you get some _variation._ I just do the same thing over and over- it can really get to a guy, you know.'

 _Oh, great._ It was Krush-It Kristoff.

'I can't lie to you, I had a great day. 12 kids wanted to play on Happy Mode!'

A female voice. Grating.

" _Happy Mode?" Give me a break._

'Two root beers, please, Oaken,' Kristoff said. 'And that's another thing. You guys get different modes. I always start off easy and then get slowly get more difficult. It's so boring!'

'Someone's in the mood for complaining, today. Where's Handsy- I mean _Helping_ Hans?'

'Your boyfriend is-'

'He's not my boyfriend!'

'-currently enjoying a pie made by the mayor's wife. He never visits Oaken's, you know that. Too squeaky clean for alcohol.'

Elsa lifted her head off the table, glancing in their direction.

Kristoff was talking to a woman with red plaited hair. She was wearing a blue top and a denim mini-skirt.

 _Ugh. Pigtails. How childish._

 _She is kind of cute, though…_

 _Shut up, brain._

'Can we go to Food Fight after this? I'm starving,' the woman complained.

'You're always starving.'

'It's all the exercise. You know, you really should try it some time.'

'Have you seen me? Do I _look_ like a dancer to you?'

'Anyone can learn…'

She zoned out of the conversation.

Elsa hated dancers. They were far too cheery, especially the ones from DDR2 .

 _Thank God Hero's Duty is far enough away that I don't have to hear that stupid music..._

 _...or see that girl's stupid cute face._

 _She's not cute._

 _Yes she is._

 _Whatever, it's not like I'll ever see her again anyways._

But how wrong she was...

 **A/N: what do you guys think so far?**

" **Something Special" Elsa is what happens when I try and write Sergeant!Calhoun Elsa having just read rk9Elsa. Her swearing feels almost canon after that fic.**

 **I was thinking of alternating POVs each chapter, so let me know whose POV you'd like to see next, or if you'd like me to stick with Elsa's perspective. Hope you enjoyed the first chapter!**

 **P.S: any Americans willing to, uh, Ameri-pick my chapters for me? PM me if you're interested! :)**


	2. Kristoff

**A/N: thanks for all the reviews, follows and favourites so far! Chapter 1 has been edited (a tiny bit) for clarity. I decided to go with multiple POVs- this chapter, (as you will have seen by the title), is "Krush-It" Kristoff's. I just think he's such an underrated character. I plan to update in short little chapters of 500-1000 words :)**

'Are you sure I was invited?' Kristoff asked, for the fourth time that evening. 'I wasn't invited to any of the others. And, can we leave, already? I don't feel like we should be here.'

By "we", he meant only himself, of course. 10 minutes in and he'd already tripped over one of the Toad Brigade and gone flying into Rosalina. He was out of place. Anna fit in anywhere, and she _loved_ parties. He would of thought all the dancing would remind her too much of her day job, but not for Anna. She danced like it was something holy.

Kristoff danced like Sergeant Calhoun was holding a gun to his head and shouting, 'move it, rookie!'- that is, stilted, reluctant and _forced_. Dancing came as naturally to him as pessimism did to Anna.

And he was so uncomfortable. He itched all over. The tux was scratchy, and two sizes too small. He hadn't worn it since Mario's wedding to Peach 20 years ago. Anna looked great, of course, in a lime green mini-dress, her hair up in a ponytail. Anna always looked great.

Kristoff was a little bit in love with her, but, really, who could blame him?

Anna raised a brow. 'No, we can't, and yes, you were. Hans said everyone was welcome. Besides, why wouldn't he want you here?'

'Woah. Woah woah woah. "Hans said"? This is Mario's party! Why is Hans suddenly in charge?'

Anna sighed, but it was a dreamy sigh. 'He actually popped his little head into DDR2, as we were doing cool-downs, and invited me to be his plus one! Me! He invited me!'

'He's too short for you,' Kristoff said, after a beat. 'Hang on… Anna!'

'What?'

'I don't want to third-wheel you and Handsy Hans all night!'

She ignored the jibe. 'You won't third-wheel.'

'What will I do, then?'

Fixing him with an intense stare and a smile that took his breath away, she said, 'you'll make new friends, of course.'

Anna made it sound easy.

'30 years, and I've only ever been friends with you,' he argued. 'And that was only because you spilled root beer on me one time and then insisted on buying me another drink to apologise.'

'Just go and talk to people! Say hi, introduce yourself, make small talk-'

'I _hate_ small talk-'

'-and just have fun!'

'You-' he began, but was cut off by an, 'Anna! You came!'

Mario strolled into view, wearing a tux quite similar to Kristoff's.

'Happy birthday!' Anna exclaimed. 'I can't believe it's been 35 years already!'

'Yeah, congratulations,' Kristoff chimed in. Mario didn't appear to hear him.

'Where does the time go, ey?' Mario said, grinning. 'Why, Miss Anna, you look bea-u-tiful!'

Anna blushed. 'Thanks, Mario.'

Mario turned to Kristoff.

'Kristoff,' he said. And then: 'I don't a-remember inviting you.'

'Um,' Kristoff said.

 _Stupid Hans._

'He's here as my plus-one,' Anna said quickly.

Mario's face brightened. 'Oh really? I did not know you were a-together.' He gave Kristoff a look that said, _how did_ you _manage to get_ her?

 _My thoughts exactly._

'Yep,' Anna said, popping the "p". She put an arm around Kristoff's waist- or, rather, halfway around.

Kristoff's heart sped up.

 _Are we really going to pretend to be a couple the whole night? This is the best and worst thing that's ever happened to me…_

* * *

 _I'm slow dancing. I'm slow dancing with Anna. Is this really happening?_

'See, you couldn't do this with Hans,' Kristoff said. 'He's too short for all the couples' dances.'

He had one hand on the small of her back- or, rather, her whole back- and the other gently holding her hand. Anna had the hand not holding his on his other elbow, and her head was resting against his shoulder.

'That's true,' Anna conceded. 'I really thought he would show up, though. I guess he decided not to come.'

Kristoff winced. '...Actually, he's over there, dancing with Daisy. I didn't want to say anything, because-'

Anna froze. 'Daisy?' She turned her head, and glared. 'I'm the only cute redhead he should be dancing with!'

'Too right,' Kristoff muttered, as Anna untangled herself from their embrace. He missed the warmth of her body immediately.

'I'm going to storm over there and tell him exactly what I think of him!' She faltered, hands slipping from her hips. 'Or is that too forward?'

'Anna. Never apologise for being too forward.'

She gave him a small smile, eyes crinkling. He watched as she walked over to Hans. As expected, she greeted him with a hug, rather than a slap. Anna's anger was a candle, not a flamethrower. Easy to extinguish, and prone to being snuffed out prematurely.

Anna began to dance with Hans and Daisy, doing a kind of slow-motion Cha Cha Slide to the music. He smiled. Only Anna would be able to come up with that.

'Kristoff.'

He turned to his left.

'Sven! Didn't recognise you without all the gear.'

'Yeah, well, I thought I'd dress up a little. Very nice of Bowser to lend Mario his castle for tonight.'

'Yeah. He talked about it in yesterday's Anon meeting. He felt like doing something good-guy for a change.'

'How are those Anon meetings going for you? I'll never forget the time you tried to sneak into Hero's Duty to get that medal. Calhoun had you sussed before you'd even walked 3 paces.'

Kristoff winced at the memory. 'They're going okay. Still sucks to be the bad guy, though.'

Sven gave him a sympathetic smile. 'Want to get a drink? Oaken's providing root beer.'

Daisy had left during their conversation. Hans had his head resting against Anna's waist, perilously close to her chest, his hands on her hips. Anna was looking down at him, smiling.

 _Their own version of a slow dance._

'I could do with a drink.'

* * *

'Wanna go to the shooting range with me and Calhoun?'

'What, right now? Sven, you're drunk.'

'And even when I'm drunk I could probably shoot better than you.'

'That's true. The guns you guys have are so tiny.'

'Nah, I'm just kidding. It's not hard. Give it a go, c'mon.'

For some reason, he agreed to.

* * *

It was hard.

Very hard.

But still. He was trying. That had to count for something, right?

'Krush-It.'

'Yes?'

'You have the hand-eye coordination of a drunk, blind, quadriplegic baby.'

Sergeant Calhoun certainly had a way with words.

He'd only had three root beers, so he couldn't blame his performance on the drink.

'How come you didn't go to Mario's?' Kristoff asked.

Sergeant Calhoun snorted. 'Parties? Please. I'd rather mate with a Cy-Bug.'

'She's not very- hic!- social,' Sven slurred. 'Her name should be Elsalation, not Elsa. Get it? Isolation, Elsalation-'

'Shut your face, Kohut,' Calhoun said, but not unkindly. She rolled her eyes. 'Hey, Krush-It.'

'Yeah?'

'Want to try again tomorrow?'

'Uh-'

'You can bring that girl you have a crush on,' Sven piped up. He giggled. 'Krush-It Kristoff has a crush!'

'I do not!'

'Do too.'

'Do not.'

'Do too.'

Calhoun sent them a vapourising death glare. 'You coming tomorrow, or what?'

'I'll come,' Kristoff said, for some reason. 'I'll bring Anna, too.'

 _Anna will think this is a great idea. Won't she?_


End file.
